May 2010


Time sure is flying. As I sit and think about the past month, it seems as if our lives have changed so much, but then again, not that much at all.

This was the first full month that we had Ryan home. Today, he’s nine weeks and one day, but had he of been born on his due date, he would only be two weeks old. Crazy. Ryan for the most part has been a pretty easy baby – insomuch as you can called a newborn baby easy. He has his moments and he sure does prefer to be held, but for the past couple of weeks (most days), he slept for six to seven hours. That is much better than a four to five hour uninterrupted sleep at night. I can deal with six hours of sleep, but only four is very hard to recuperate from. We just had Ryan’s two month check up and shots yesterday. He’s doing really well. He weighed in 10 lbs 7 ounces. I remember tearing up when Kaylen got her first set of shots, but for Ryan, no tears. After the week in the NICU when he couldn’t eat and couldn’t be consoled, watching him get his shot didn’t pull on my heart strings as much because I knew I would be able to him  feel better after. I still have moments when I think about Ryan’s NICU stay and it still sometimes causes a heavy feeling on my heart remembering such a difficult time. I was very interested in watching The Duggars baby NICU release (19 kids and counting). I watched the special as they recapped Josie’s birth into the world at 25 weeks and her journey after. While Ryan’s NICU journey surely could not have been as heart wrenching at their journey is, I didn’t feel that episode captured what it was really like having a baby in the NICU. I was kind of hoping it would so maybe some could have a better understanding of the journey, but as I saw the babies in the NICU and listened to Michelle Duggar tell of her feelings about the whole journey – that even with her expressing the her feelings and seeing Josie in the NICU just can’t do justice to how it feels in your heart. It just truly is one of those life experiences you can’t relate to until it has been a personal journey of yours as well.


I so had wanted to be better about blogging. With two little ones, time just really gets away from me. I wouldn’t change it though. I love my kids. That’s not to say there aren’t times when I just want to put Kaylen to bed earlier so that we can have a little bit more quiet time, but at the end of the day, when I close my eyes, I’m thankful that I have both Ryan and Kaylen and I do really look forward to watching them form a sibling relationship. Kaylen loves Ryan and she is always looking for him. She tries to give him his binkie. She always goes up to him and pat his head. I tell Kaylen that her little brother loves her and I make Ryan give her a peck on the cheek. Kaylen really seems to love it. I wonder what kind of mischief these two will get as they get older.

Kaylen  makes us laugh every day. Her vocabulary is increasing every day and it seems like she is attempting new words every day. We started introducing the potty to her this month. We have had some successes with the potty, but I’m not sure she really gets it, but she seems to like just sitting on the potty when asked, so we are still encouraging her.  I’m not expecting that she will be fully potty trained anytime soon. She has a play cell phone that she talked on now. It’s so cute. She says hello? Yeah.. Yeah.. Yeah.. Bye. She holds the phone backwards too so that makes it even cuter. She also seems to understand now when I take a picture of her. She will sometimes smile at the camera. The past week or so, I was telling her say CHEESE and she kept on putting her finger in her mouth and I thought she was saying cheese as well, but yesterday, I finally realized that she was pointing in her mouth and saying TEETH! LOL. She also tried to tickle our feet for the first time this month. And she started kissing herself in the mirror. Jeff doesn’t want me to encourage her to do that, but it so funny to me, that sometimes I just can’t help myself and ask her if she is going to give Kaylen a kiss. Along with all of her cuteness, she is also getting a little toddler attitude of her own, which sometimes can push Jeff and I to our limit. She’s not afraid to tell you NO! But we know she is just testing her boundaries.. that or she just needs a nap!

Ryan is doing pretty much the same. He seems to be able to focus his eyes now. I just look at him every day and stay at him in amazement. He gets cuter every day. I just can’t believe how short of time he will be a baby for. Before we know it, he will be crawling, then walking, and then running around with Kaylen.

I don’t want give anyone the impression that it is easy have two little ones, because it’s not always. When they both need you at once and you can only make one of them happy, it’s really hard. It’s hard when both of them start crying together. I tell Jeff that maybe we should of have kids earlier and maybe the crying wouldn’t bother me so much. LOL. You definitely can’t do things when you want anymore. It’s all about the two little ones now and putting them first. It’s always hard. I have to constantly remind myself that I am a mother to a newborn now and I don’t have the energy that I used.. but hopefully, will soon! For all the headaches and tiredness and pure exhaustion, I do cherish every moment (well, except the crying one!) with my kids – especially being a working mom. I look forward to when I get to see them after work and give them big hugs and kisses. That is my favorite part of the day. It’s all worth it when I see Kaylen come up to me or her dad and give us a hug out of the blue. I love the snuggle time with my kids and know that it’s going to be all too soon when they won’t want to snuggle. So for now, I’ll take all the hugs and kisses I can get!

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