So after much trepidation and worry, I finally decided to call Early Intervention for Ryan. I kept going back and forth on whether to make the call or not. Trying to take in the information from everyone – most say he will start talking on his own when was ready. I shouldn’t worry. But I’m a mom, I can’t help but to worry. I keep trying to chalk it up to Ryan being “strong-willed” and very “determined.” Those are nice “words” for stubborn. Most people like to remind me that I should read to him every day, that I need to use constant repetition, that I shouldn’t give in to his screaming and shouting, that I should toughen up. I readily admit that I probably do give him more than I should, but when you are on the verge of tears and your child is screaming their head off, there got to be some point when my being stubborn and refusing to give in until he talks, just isn’t productive any more. I’m really just a ball of nerves. Did I not try enough hard enough? Is is my fault that Ryan won’t say mommy and daddy?? Should I have persisted when I gave in because I couldn’t handle his screams anymore?? Making that call to Early Intervention was the hardest call I had to make. It was like a part of me admitting that somehow I had failed my son. While I know I shouldn’t feel that way, I can’t help it. My daughter was talking before she was year old and signing as well. With Ryan, even though I had gotten some practice with Kaylen, it just what we have done isn’t enough. Sure, Ryan didn’t get as much attention as Kaylen (as she was an only child), but I don’t feel like I just gave us trying to teach him how to talk and communicate. I’m just dying on the inside to hear Ryan says “Mama” and look at me with those longing eyes. While on the outside, I just try to keep up the facade that doesn’t bother me every day that, while he is two, he has yet to say simple words like “Mama” and “Dada.” The only word that he says regularly is “bye bye.” Maybe I have just been uber concerned this whole time and after his evaluation, they will tell me I have nothing to worry about and I’m just a super over-worried, over-stressed mom. I would love if that was the case. I know Early Intervention will help us learn techniques to better help us to teach how to get Ryan to communicate more. But as someone told me.. Oh, you are going to end up like one of those moms on Super Nanny when they have the train the parents… I guess maybe that is a part of parenthood.. wondering if somehow you failed your child and if you could have, should have done something differently. Anyone that knows my heart, know just how much I love my kids to pieces and that I desire to do everything right to raise them up properly. I just hurts to hear someone else say your fears out loud. Making the call to Early Intervention I know is the best decision I could have made and I know that I will do whatever I can to help Ryan continue to improve his speech and his communication. I just needed to “talk” and work though some of these feelings….