Tomorrow you will be four years old. I asked you tonight what tomorrow would be and you told that it was going to be your birthday party tomorrow. I had to explain that we celebrated your birthday over the weekend, but tomorrow you would actually be four. You sure loved your Carebear Birthday Party and you just love birthday parties in general.
Your daddy would probably tell you that I’m always emotional every birthday, but this one, to me, seems to have hit me the hardest so far. I can hardly believe that four years have gone by. It just seems like yesterday that we found out that we were expecting. Every day carrying you was a joy to me and while I loved every moment, I couldn’t wait for the day when I could see you face to face. To our surprise, that day came earlier than expected. As I watch from the operating table as they cleaned you off, I was in utter amazement. 3 days later when I got hold you for the first time, I knew my life would never be the same. My heart and soul was just overcome with a joy I had never known before and in that moment I found a happiness that I had been searching for all of my life. That happiness of being your mom has never left. While I am so proud of the little lady you are becoming, it’s also hard for me, because you are no longer a baby. You are certainly your own person with your own agenda in mind. Every now and again, I catch glimpses of you, that no matter the time the length of time, haven’t changed – the smile in your eyes and how you like to scrutch up your nose.
You still loved to be chased and tickled and I hope that never grows old for you. You love to be sung to every night before bed. We always try to sing you three songs. You’re favorite song are Twinkle, Twinkle little Star, followed by Jesus Loves Me. Lately, the third song you have been asking for is Ba, Ba, Black Sheep. Sometimes it is Mary had a little lamb or the Itsy Bitsy Spider. You think it so funny when I pretend to be glued to you have you to unstick us. You love your little brother, Ryan, so very much. You are always looking for him. Giving him hugs when you haven’t hugged him in a while and give him plenty of kisses. He returns your hugs and kisses and loves you just as much as you love him. You two are like two peas in pod most days. You have such a great imagination. You love for your daddy to build you your pirate boat. Sometimes you pretend that you are fish and swim around the living room. For awhile, you were a octopus, daddy was shark, I was a starfish, and Ryan was a fish.
I looking forward to watching you continue to grow. I can’t wait to see what your interest will be and what you will naturally gravitate to. You’ve been asking to learn Karate, but I’m not sure that you are ready yet.
I love you so much, Kaylen. I will always love you. I will always be here for you.
You’ll never know how much I love you…. well at least until the day you hold a child of yours in your arms.
Happy 4th Birthday!!